6 Steps to Building a Healthy and Stable Relationship with Your Partner

Relationships can make us very happy, but at the same time they are difficult to maintain because they need constant work, and can still have their downs despite our best efforts.

But this is not to say that it is not worth investing our time and effort into trying to build something meaningful with a person who also desires the same thing.

Many couples fall apart and it sometimes seems difficult being able to maintain a stable and long-lasting relationship, but it does not have to be like that.

Here are six simple steps to building a healthy and stable relationship with your partner, some reasons why relationships fail, and what you can do about it:

1. Listening and Understanding

Did you know that miscommunication is one of the main reasons for breakups?

Sometimes it is the unsaid things, or the badly said or understood words that can ruin or, at least, harm a relationship.

Work on expressing your thoughts kindly to your partner and sharing information that is important to both of you.

Often, fights start because one person says one thing and their partner interprets it in a completely different way. This happens often in relationships, and leads to misunderstandings, often caused by hurried or false assumptions that can create unnecessary arguments and destabilize the relationship.

This can happen because different people have their own unique way of understanding. If you and your partner have a similar way of thinking, it is less likely that you develop misunderstandings. So ask yourself if you and your partner share similar views and similar understanding about the world around you.

But if you wish to save your current relationship, and your partner is misinterpreting your words, and if on top of it, starts making assumptions and becomes emotional, do not heat it up with more emotions, but instead keep calm and try to explain yourself very well so they can understand the message you are really trying to portray.

Do not forget to put yourself in their shoes and try to see the world through their lens because this can help you understand their logic and what makes them react the way they do, but can also make them feel more understood.

2. Be More Trusting

Giving trust is not easy for everyone, and it is something that usually happens naturally and on a subconscious level that you cannot completely control. However, in order for a relationship to work, there needs to be mutual trust so you need to try to give trust to your best ability in order to strengthen your relationship and keep it. If you have too many doubts and you are questioning everything in your relationship or your partner, problems are more likely to arise between the two of you.

Trusting someone can be difficult for some, especially if you have lost your trust due to someone’s actions before. At the same time, negative experiences should not be the cause for ruining future relationships.

Be trusting towards your partner and, depending on your partner as well, their trust may come back to you. If your partner is not trusting enough, the cause may be either your impact on them, for example, if you have betrayed their trust before; or you are honest enough with them, but they still do not trust themselves enough to trust others, or have been hurt before. In the second case, you need to find patience within yourself to understand their struggle and consistently show them that they can calmly trust you.

Remember: Do not force them to trust you, work to earn their trust without expecting anything in return. People will not give you their trust just because you want it. There needs to be effort and work for earning it.

3. Give Your Partner More Space

This may not seem logical at first because when you are devoted to your partner, you want to show them how much you care about them by being involved with their activities, giving constant affection, etc. This is very normal, we all need to spend time with our partners to demonstrate that we care and value them.

But even this can become a little too much sometimes. When we become too clingy by constantly focusing on our partner, we can unintentionally make them pull away as they feel as if they are losing their freedom and personal space.

Make sure that while you are in a relationship and spend time together, you also live your own lives, meet other people, make time for your hobbies, etc.

This is not to say to ignore your partner because they may wonder why you are suddenly alienating yourself from them, and then your relationship would suffer greatly if you do not communicate with them the reasons for your behavior.

Make sure that you have a balance. Simply focus on yourself, your personal goals, give space to your partner so they can do the same, but be affectionate and spend enough time together to maintain the connection.

4. Be Giving, Instead of Demanding

This is an important step to building a relationship because it is impossible for it to work without mutual giving. And I am not even talking about showering your partner with gifts on a daily basis. It is about giving love, affection, showing appreciation, doing small gestures to show your partner you care about them, and other small things that you can do to remind them that they are special.

Of course, your partner should be ready to do the same for you if they love you for who you are. If they do not, then their feelings for you may not be authentic, and they might be takers, rather than givers. Or they might simply have difficulties expressing their emotions and showing appreciation, so do not jump to conclusions fast.

If you do not put enough effort into the relationship, it might make your partner feel as if they are the only ones doing the work, which can make it difficult for them and make them feel as if they have to carry the weight of the relationship on their own.

5. Value Yourself and Your Boundaries

Before loving anybody else, learn to love yourself. If you do not do this, you are more likely to attract people and relationships into your life that may be less than what you deserve. Be your honest and authentic self from the beginning and do not try to change yourself for your partner because if they truly love you, they will love you the way you are.

Putting boundaries is also an important part of having a stable relationship, especially during the beginning of it, so that your partner sees that you value yourself enough, which is likely to make you even more attractive to them.

In general, when you value yourself more, people tend to value you more as well, and in turn, that strengthens your own love for yourself. It is a cycle, and this is one of the good ones.

So value yourself enough and set clear boundaries. It may be difficult to do for some, but anything is possible if you wish to do the work to make it happen, and the efforts will pay off. Some good things like this do not happen overnight. But if it is easy for you to set boundaries, then fortunately for you, there is not much that I would need to say.

If you feel like you are the only one doing the work in the relationship, but not getting the same treatment back, then you need to reevaluate the connection. Make a choice that is better for both of you, even if that means temporarily pausing or permanently ending an unproductive relationship.

After all, some people will not value you no matter what you do to deserve their respect, and no matter how many boundaries you set. In that case, moving on without them is the healthiest choice you can make for yourself.

6. Be Patient

The two of you will go through ups and downs. That is just inevitable, but the obstacles are not there to separate you, but to make you and your partner learn, and teach you how to grow through your mistakes together while making you stronger. Just be patient and believe, good things take time and care. Patience is key to maintaining a long-term relationship.

Now that you know what to avoid and what to do instead, or if you knew, but needed a reminder, you and your partner can practice these steps and see for yourself that you can ensure a stable and happy relationship.

Of course, what works for one couple, might not work for another, so do not be very strict with this guide, follow your own intuition and mind. In the end, the desired result is balance. If the relationship is balanced and working properly, and you know it, there are no reason for concern.

And even if some obstacle arises between you, don’t let this make you worried, but rather embrace the obstacle together and fight for the relationship.

A little bit of mutual trust, patience and a few other things can help you a lot during your path together. Happy relationshipping!