You are not lazy. Here is why.

Ever felt like just giving up on everything and feeling the urge to go lay down and indulge in your favorite guilty pleasures?

Don’t worry, it’s human, you are not alone. And while I am not in favor of following that urge to procrastinate when you have important things to get done, I could help you understand where this comes from so that you can discover better ways to deal with it. This blog post about procrastination might also be helpful for you.

You may think you are being lazy, but you are not. So what are you, if not lazy then? And what is an alternative way of viewing what we call laziness?

First, let’s understand ‘lazy’ behavior.  

When we look at someone who stubbornly refuses to get things done, procrastinates on everything, and loves to binge watch TV series on their couch with their favorite Spaghetti Bolognese, for example, and allows their problems to take over instead of dealing with them, without having a specific goal in life, we classify them as a ‘lazy’ person. Basically, a person who avoids the difficult times, and who is always on a hunt for pleasures.

It’s easy to blame someone, and put the ‘lazy’ label on them even though we all have and need those ‘lazy’ moments. It’s easy to view someone as lazy if they do things more slowly or chaotically than most of us. Laziness is a concept created by society and this term is so deeply ingrained in society’s beliefs that we don’t even see it as a label or judgement. It is very easy to start blaming ourselves for being lazy. Self-blame causes low self-esteem, and in turn, we may start procrastinating, which only makes things more difficult for us.

‘Laziness’ is just a label easily utilized by people who are not able to or are not interested in understanding others and their individual pace through which they go through life. Oftentimes, they use this label when they see someone who they view as more inactive than them, or when someone doesn’t have the same level of interest or drive as them, without acknowledging the reasons behind the behavior.

Sometimes what happens is that you become your own blamer when you accept other people’s perception of laziness and allow yourself to view it as a flaw of your own personality, instead of embracing it as a lovable part of you that needs nurturing and healing. Beating yourself up unnecessarily is causing you harm which only leads to more procrastination and ‘unproductive’ behavior. When you understand why you are doing what you are doing, it will help you discover your own unique solution.

You can be many things, but you are not lazy. Here is what could cause your perceived laziness:

1. You are afraid or stressed (and your stress causes procrastination)

Stress really makes people do unhealthy things, including what you may perceive as laziness. When we have a life that is too stressful, we may become avoidant of the external events that we perceive to be a thread or stressors. Instead, we may seek comfort through simple pleasures, and we may choose the easy and temporary solution for dealing with our anxieties and stresses. And I highly advise you to seek comfort when you need it, however it can become addictive to stay in your comfort zone where you have all your pleasures at your disposal. It is okay to seek comfort and relaxation, but when we get too much of it, we become unbalanced. Avoidance of stress is a normal reaction, and some of us live very stressful lives.

Instead of procrastinating, find a way to make unpleasant activities a little more enjoyable, use your creativity! And make sure you give yourself some quality time to enjoy your favorite activities – but not activities that give you only pleasure, but rather those which light up your soul! This will alleviate some of the stress, and it will help you release some of the happy hormones you need in order to calm your nervous system down.

Sometimes, when we procrastinate our problems, while giving ourselves instant gratification, we don’t even relax because subconsciously we continue thinking about our obligations which is the very thing that stresses us out and causes the procrastination to happen in the first place. It would be great if these obligations or issues would simply disappear, our anxieties would instantly be lifted, however, very rarely do problems or obligations go away on their own, so we learn to cope with the current circumstances in our lives.

2. You are bored

You don’t need to be overwhelmed to start feeling like you are lazy or unproductive. Sometimes, boredom makes us seek pleasures that are easily accessible. It’s so easy to just want to check your phone for five minutes out of boredom, and these five minutes magically turn into an hour of scrolling, or consuming other material that you stumble across on social media. When we are bored, we may seek distractions, such as phones, for example, which can make us lose touch with what is happening around us. It is so easy to get so lost in your distractions that you accidentally spend an unexpectedly long time on them without planning it.

The solution – find distractions that give you both pleasure and results. Example: You planned to workout in the afternoon, but the afternoon comes, now you are no longer in the mood for a workout, you feel like listening to music instead, why not try listening to music or even taking dance breaks while doing your workout exercises? You won’t be bored during your workout session if you find a way to make it enjoyable.

3. You struggle with a low self-esteem

Who made you feel insignificant? When we are born, we are not familiar with hate or critical judgements from others yet, until we get exposed to these. Social pressure or personal conflicts can easily affect an individual, especially if he is more sensitive, and especially if he is very young. It is sometimes easy to perceive someone else’s judgement of you as a real reflection of your personality, but understand that everyone has their own personal and sometimes limited understanding of events and other people. There will be people who don’t understand you and it is okay. The important thing is to get to know yourself so well that no one else’s opinion can shake your own inner knowing.

Whatever caused you to feel down, with low self-esteem, or depressed, know that you can and will get better if you take practical steps!

So how is low self-esteem related to feeling like you are lazy?

First, your negative inner monologue and self-criticism will leave you feeling drained. And feeing drained will not help you move forward. What’s more, it makes you seek comfort and the need to look for something else and something external to give you the energy that is depleted by the autopilot negative thoughts. They need to be observed and you need to notice what provokes a certain negative feeling within you that causes you to have false beliefs about yourself. You cannot force yourself to do something with negative thoughts without torturing yourself and your inner child. When you tell yourself you are bad at something, and that you are not able to do it because you suck at it, you beat yourself up unnecessarily and lose all motivation to get anything done. Would you talk like that to a little child? Most likely no, so why are you doing it to yourself then?

4. You live at a slower pace

The world nowadays is always in a hurry. When you move at another pace, you stand out. People may label you as ‘sluggish’, ‘slow’, ‘lazy’, etc. Doing things slowly may simply be your way of doing things even if you are a really hard worker. If you have heard about the four most common temperament types, you may really resonate with the Phlegmatic type. This temperament is slow to react, calm and persistent. Your way of doing things is slow, but steady. Whether society accepts your behavior or not, talks about the mindset of the society in question. The important thing is you know how to relax, so see this ability as a strength.

Now, you can view laziness from another perspective – you can see it as a reflection of your inner emotional state, or a response to some outer circumstances, and not as a permanent personality flaw that society tries to paint it as. We are not perfect. We are always learning. Laziness is a man-made concept.